Missing Halloween Candy

I happens every year. We buy Halloween candy weeks before the actual date, only to have the supply slowly diminish until a second candy purchase must be arranged. It isn’t like anyone here really eats a lot of candy. It just slowly dissappears. I virtually never eat candy any other time of year. Once as a kid I had to throw away chocolate eggs to make room for the next year’s Easter candy.

But walking by a bowl of Halloween candy without having just one piece seems to be virtually impossible. As the weeks go by the candy goes away and we end up buying more before the big day.

But not this year. This year I had a strategy. I intentionally procrastinated. I waited until there were only three days until Halloween. I knew that we would eat some of the candy in that time, but not a significant amount. Or so I thought.

Something was missing from my calculations. It was like when you calculate how long it would take a guy with a parachute to drop to the ground from 10,000 feet, but you forget to factor in gravity. I calculated the rate of consumption for Carol and I, but neglected to factor in Fred The Dog. The lucky guy ate two bags of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, wrappers and all. This puts us solidly below the quantity necessary for Halloween night, and it isn’t even Halloween yet. It looks like once again I’ll be shopping for candy at the last minute.

I really hope Fred can pass those candy wrappers. It may be his greatest feat yet. I’ve noticed that lately he’s been training. He ate at least three or four squash from my garden, passing the seeds untouched. I have been putting extra grain from beer brewing in the mulch pit, which while mowing I noticed had been gathered into giant tootsie roll shapes and scattered across the lawn. This summer he ate some corn on the cob without hardly chewing. He’s even eaten chicken bones when we weren’t paying close enough attention. He doesn’t break them at all, he just swallows them whole.

I guess I’ll be following him around for the next few days looking for that telltale orange. What a great dog.

3 Comments

  1. PICTURE!! PICTURE!! PICTURE!!! Just kidding… Tell Fredly “Good job” on the fine digestive action and give him a hearty “Good game” on the keister.

    Isn’t it also “My dog can eat and pass anything” appreciation day?

  2. Victory! Fred just passed a lovely orange and brown poo. Ain’t nothin’ can stop that guy up.

    Since today is Blog Reader Appreciation Day I’m going to go ahead and refrain from posting a picture.

    -T

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