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Blizzard Tips

It’s snowing a couple feet, they say. Worst blizzard all year. Roads are terrible. People are going to be stranded. People might even go sledding or something.

That’s not strange, though. It’s January. What I find odd is the fact that I live in Minnesota and can still see my lawn. All this snow? It’s not here. Sure, that’s convenient for me and my propensity to drive around town in my automobile. As a native Minnesotan, though, I feel like it’s my duty to help out when storms like these hit. So, here is a list of things you can do when it snows to help improve your chances of surviving with sanity intact.

  1. Read a book. Yeah, I know, it sounds obvious. However, keep in mind that if the snow plows break down you might be stuck in your house for quite some time. Most books are edible. You’re going to want to do the majority of your reading early so that you have plenty of delicious ingredients for that City Stained Red lasagna or Under the Empyrean Sky cornbread. Also, don’t eat eBooks for obvious reasons.
  2. Board games. Another obvious idea, but what better way to survive the winter storm than several dozen back-to-back games of Dead of Winter? If that’s getting old, maybe Kill Doctor Lucky is more your speed.
  3. Writing. I know, writing’s not for everyone. If you can’t think of anything to write, just pick one phrase and write it over and over again. See how many pages you can fill without resorting to copy/paste. If power goes out, don’t let that stop you. Either switch to pen and paper or keep typing on that dead keyboard. The insanity just flows right out of your fingertips, keeping your brain from feeling all that crazy.
  4. Normal household maintenance tasks. Been meaning to sharpen that ax but never have the time? Well, guess what. Now you have all the time you need to make that puppy razor sharp. You can sharpen all of your knives, clean your guns, and even get that chainsaw running again.
  5. Cleaning. The stains will come out. They’ll come out! Nobody will notice anything. Just need to scrub harder. Just need more bleach.
  6. Learn how to juggle. Haven’t you always wanted to know how to juggle? Now you have plenty of time to learn. This should probably have been higher on the list.

Good luck with that storm, East Coast.

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